Rest is one area I have to actively work on and remind myself to do. Like others, I see myself as highly ambitious. I’m involved in a lot of projects, personally and professionally, and I’m constantly thinking about the next goal. Once I reach it, I’m already thinking about what’s next, without being in that moment or giving myself a break.
Dr. Arthur Brooks talks about this in relation to happiness, but there’s a term in psychology called the hedonic treadmill. After something good or bad happens, our happiness tends to drift back to where it was before. For me, rest is similar. I’ll have a goal I’m working toward for the week, and I’ll focus and pour my energy into it. I reach the goal, and then I’m thinking about how to build off of it to reach the next level. Typically, I frame it as, “I’m almost there. If I can reach this, then life will be a lot better.” The reality is that I do this over and over and over, ignoring the signs that my body and mind need rest to just be, instead of doing. Not every moment of my life has to be planned or keep my brain busy.
And this isn’t only about me professionally. Add the layer of family responsibilities, and my physical goals, since I’m an active gym-goer. The impact will show up eventually, and it’ll remind you why rest matters.
Growing up, I saw my parents work hard and take one vacation together, in July. They didn’t talk about rest out loud. They celebrated for one week a year. I wanted to be more intentional and take a different approach: work out daily, stay connected with friends, travel the world, and schedule time to rest. Being a Black man shapes how I think about slowing down too. I know life expectancy for Black men is shorter, and the stress is higher.
What I Mean by Rest
Rest is that conscious pause from activity or labor. It’s a vital part of overall wellness. It helps lower stress, repair muscles, and support mental clarity. Rest also has many dimensions. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith describes seven of them: physical, mental, emotional, sensory, creative, social, and spiritual.
I hear stories from people saying they need rest and just need to sleep more. But what happens when you do sleep and you still wake up tired and anxious? To me, I hear that we aren’t doing the type of resting our body actually needs. It might be mental and emotional rest we need to truly recover.
What It Looks Like for Me
This has been an area I’m still actively working on. It looks like doing the things I enjoy, like resting and being in a space of quietness and solitude, and not always being around others. I naturally tend to hold space for others emotionally, which is work for me. So I literally put rest on my calendar as a reminder. I can “think” I can do this later. But if I want to operate at my personal best, rest is not an option. It is a must.